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  • Writer's pictureJesse Lewis

Asking for Help

Updated: Jul 17, 2023

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, which means it's a great time to talk about why it's important to ask for help when we're going through tough times. Every day, we face problems at school, at home, or even at work. But did you know that when we're stressed, anxious, or really tired, it becomes harder for us to solve those problems?

In this blog we'll talk about why reaching out for help can be so powerful. Then, we invited Derek Mulhern, a business and leadership coach, as a special guest to help us answer some questions.

There are many things that can make problem-solving harder for us. Stress, pain, anxiety, and exhaustion can make our brains work differently. Instead of using the part of our brain that helps us think logically and find good solutions, these things can make us rely more on our gut feelings and emotions. But relying on our gut feelings and emotions can sometimes make us make mistakes or get stuck in the same old ways of doing things, even if they're not working. It's like going in circles without making progress. This can make us feel even more frustrated and tired.

That's why it's really important to know that reaching out for help is a great way to solve problems and take care of our mental health. When stress, anxiety, and exhaustion make it hard for us to find solutions, getting help from someone like a mindset coach or a trusted person can make a real difference. They can help us break free from unhelpful patterns and focus on taking care of ourselves. Asking for help is a brave and positive step that can have a big impact on our lives.

In our conversation with Derek, we talked about the importance of getting help from others when we're dealing with problems, preventing burnout, and making our mental health and well-being a priority.

1. For me, I didn’t know exactly what I needed to change, I just know I needed it to go differently. What advice would you give someone else feeling like that?

“From my experience, the first step is for someone to identify that they want a different desired outcome. What that path looks like for each individual is different. Sometimes, there is an obvious adjustment or change that can be made and other times, individuals need to find a way to get reconnected to what their desires are and what they want before they can even begin to think about creating that future. Ultimately, we can't enter a place of creating what's next by simply aiming to solve the current problem we are in. We have to envision the future we want and take action to create that future from an empowered place.”

2. I hear a lot about burnout. How do I know if I’m burned out? What can I do to reset?

“Exhaustion, irritability, a lack of enthusiasm for work, and a sense of self-doubt are common signs of burnout. If you're asking yourself if you're burned out, you're likely looking in the right place. I often find that the first way to work through burnout is to get reconnected with yourself. This looks different for everyone but can be boundary-setting, spending time alone, doing things you love, traveling, taking time off of work, or even journaling and meditating. There isn't an easy or quick fix to burnout, and oftentimes, individuals need to look at patterns of burnout to understand where they can do things differently to avoid future burnout.”

3. Coaching has helped me reframe my thoughts and see my limiting beliefs. Can you speak to that a bit?

“A limiting belief is a state of mind about yourself that is in some way restricting you. For example, if you believe working long hours will make you successful, you may be limiting yourself to how you can achieve success. In coaching, I support people in seeing the patterns of limited beliefs they have developed and then explore how we can get to the same desired outcome in a new way. Limiting beliefs keep us in a space of reliving old patterns and oftentimes coming up with the same results. In order to break limiting beliefs, first you have to identify them, then step outside of your comfort zone with a new approach to teach your mind and body that you can achieve your goals in a different way.

4. It is mental health awareness month and I know therapy has also been a healthy practice for me. How does coaching differ from therapy?

“In therapy, clients often look at trauma that they have experienced. You spend a lot of time in the past while in therapy and work to re-heal old wounds. In coaching, we understand and appreciate the past in understanding how we operate, but focus on creating what we want in our lives from a future state. By overcoming limiting beliefs, we can move into new spaces of self-awareness and more boldly step into a powerful place.”

Coach: Derek Mulhern

Instagram: @djmulhern

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